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Brock

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have not written in this in forever [25 Dec 2008|05:22pm]
LIfe has been good, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.

I have just been doing the school stuff, working, making art, and riding bikes. hope everyone elses life is good...mine is fun as shit.
1 using parking meters as walking sticks | see those city lights

shed rage [15 Dec 2007|08:10am]
telling stories
being grateful
getting drunk...
word.


and now to go get some coffee and tacos at juan in a million...if you do not know what that is, you have not lived.
see those city lights

EVERYONE HAS TO HAVE A DREAM GIRL.... [12 Dec 2007|10:49pm]
THIS IS MY DREAM GIRL.

10 using parking meters as walking sticks | see those city lights

[20 Nov 2007|01:33am]
3 using parking meters as walking sticks | see those city lights

[04 Nov 2007|11:27pm]
Things have been looking pretty good. I've been cranking out sketches, paintings,and whatever else like crazy and i'm looking into different art schools even though part of my mind thinks i would have to un-teach myself everything they teach me in art school to gain a bit more creativity. This weekend was great saw madball, sick of it all, down to nothing (twice), bitter end, die young, LIFETIME, and against me! can't really complain. I've also been some how ending up in situations where i'm hanging out with vaudeville revival people, clowns, musicians, whatever, not really complaining because all that stuff is pretty great. But i am sore!
1 using parking meters as walking sticks | see those city lights

[09 Oct 2007|08:56pm]
you were the first bridge i have burned for someone in my life, i think its for the better.
see those city lights

[08 Oct 2007|03:26pm]
If you are someone who thinks telling a lie to people you call family or a brother or a sister or whatever is okay, then get the fuck out of my life. I AM FUCKING TIRED OF IT!
1 using parking meters as walking sticks | see those city lights

life [02 Oct 2007|05:48pm]
got oral surgery and still spitting up blood.
still in a lot of pain.
still havent really talked to her much, maybe twice.
havent made any art i really like in a long time.
school is a pain in the ass.
i really like this song.
i want to go see del tha funkee homosapien and devin the dude on wednesday but probably wont be able to make it.
fuck it all.
see those city lights

hey! its one of those cliche sad live journal posts. [22 Sep 2007|01:38am]
Tomorrow is her birthday and i wish i could be there, or at least gain some feeling that she would want me there but i don't think thats going to happen. I never go into relationships halfway and i guess thats whats fucked me over, i was all in and she wasn't. In her mind i have changed and am no longer the strong person i was when we first met and that she just realized one day she didn't have the same strong feelings towards me. How feelings can change from something good to something so terrible in a matter of days is still beyond me. When we first broke up i didn't want to have a friendship because i thought it would be to hard and now that i do want a good friendship it feels like i am being pushed away after being told she still wanted me in her life. I try to hard apparently. Having a lot of close friends tell me she wasn't worth it isn't making this any easier because in my mind she was worth it. When we first started dating she told me she felt something special, then later on the line she said she could see her self with me for awhile. I guess i changed in that amount of time she told me that and now. I know for a fact i'm taking this harder then she is and i can't help it, its the way i am and the feelings i have. It seems like i can't make small talk with her on those few occasions i talk to her without saying the wrong thing and getting yelled at about how we aren't dating anymore. I wish she could see things through my eyes or at least that the people around me would understand what i saw and still see in her that makes me care this much. I still have hope that maybe one day we will get back together but everyone including her tells me its not going to happen and most of my mind thinks that way also, that we will never be together again but i always have a sliver of hope in everything. I haven't seen her since, its almost like she doesn't want to or won't let me go and see her which is probably for the better at this time. I wish she understood and i wish i could see her tomorrow. Happy 18th i hope you have the best birthday you have ever dreamed of i won't be there.
2 using parking meters as walking sticks | see those city lights

i understand these lyrics a lot more haha [20 Sep 2007|06:17pm]
Women Singing]
"It leave never would you, you show could I If" [x6]

[Slug]
She say that she still wants a friendship
She can't live her life without me as a friend
I can't figure out why I give a damn to what she wants
I don't understand the now before the then
Most of this garbage I write that these people seem to like
Is about you and how I let you infect my life
And if they got to know you, I doubt that they would see it
They'd wonder what I showed you how you could leave it
A friend in Chicago said that I should stay persistent
If I stay around I'm bound to break resistance
Fuck you Lucy for defining my existence
Fuck you and your differences

Ever since I was a young lad with a part-time dad
It was hard to find happiness inside of what I had
I studied my mother, I digested her pain
And vowed no women on my path would have to walk the same
Travel like sound across the fate ladder
I travel with spoon to mix this cake batter
And I travel with feels so I can deal with touch
It's like that, thank you very much, fuck you very much!

[Chorus]
(Yes, yes it is)
And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
(Yes, yes it is)
And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

[Slug]
Fuck the "what happened?", I got stuck
They can peel pieces of me off the grill of her truck
Used to walk with luck, used to hold her hand
Fell behind then played the role of a slower man
I want to stand on top of this mountain and yell
I want to wake up and break up this lake of hell
I feel like a bitch for letting the she twist me up
The last starfighter is wounded, time to give it up
On a pick it up mission, kept it bitter
Gettin' in a million memories just to forget her
The difficulty in keepin' emotions controlled
Cookies for the road, took me by the soul
Hunger for the drama, hunger for the nurture
Gonna take it further, the hurt feels like murder
Interpret the eyes, read the lines on her face
The sunshine is fake, how much time did I waste?
Fuck you Lucy for leaving me
Fuck you Lucy for not needing me
I wanna say fuck you because I still love you
No, I'm not okay, and I don't know what to do

[Chorus]
(Yes, yes it is)
And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
(Yes, yes it is)
And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

[Slug]
Do I sound mad? Well I guess I'm a little pissed
Every action has a point, five points make a fist
You close 'em, you swing 'em, it's hurts when it hits
And the truth can be a bitch, but if the boot fits
I got an idea: You should get a tattoo that says "Warning"
That's all, just a warning, so the potential victim can take a left and save breath,
And avoid you, sober and upset in the morning
I wanna scream, "Fuck you Lucy!"
But the problem is I love you Lucy
So instead I'ma finish my drink and have another
While you think about how you used to be my lover

[Chorus]
(Yes, yes it is)
And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
(Yes, yes it is)
And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

[Women Singing]
"It leave never would you, you show could I If" [x12]
1 using parking meters as walking sticks | see those city lights

[19 Sep 2007|07:04am]
I CAME BACK TO THIS FUCKING TOWN FOR NOTHING. 
1 using parking meters as walking sticks | see those city lights

hey! [07 Sep 2007|10:28pm]
i feel like complete shit! body and mind. 
2 using parking meters as walking sticks | see those city lights

[06 Sep 2007|10:43pm]
i have this thing about drawing rabbits, i always draw them but i've never really been like "fuck man, i gotta go out and buy me another pet rabbit"
see those city lights

staying positive [27 Aug 2007|09:52pm]
 im back in school.
i have a job.
making money.
feeling productive.
making a lot of art.
have a great girlfriend.
my stomach is full.
my thirst is quenched.

all in all, everything is going pretty well.
see those city lights

[15 Aug 2007|01:35am]
Today when i was on the dog side of barton springs i saw an old man in a speedo on the free side look at all the kids playing in the waterfall. I thought to myself this guy is either a perv or he wished to god he was young again, i think both are pretty pathetic.
1 using parking meters as walking sticks | see those city lights

[11 Jun 2007|06:38pm]
those days when you can't get a hold of anyone and you waste your whole fucking day.

i fucking hate those days.
1 using parking meters as walking sticks | see those city lights

a lengthy post i guess... [17 Apr 2007|12:33am]
So much has been going on in my mind and life lately that it's hard to really take it all in at once. I'm pretty damn hell bent on making it in the art world, i know i'm really not that great of an artist when it comes to classical art but i think i have my own style working for me. I want to run my own gallery, make art, sell art, live in some nice loft place, eventually get married, have kids, and still be living through art. It is my main goal now. Once i get out of San Antonio and back to Austin i will focus on it even more than i have here.
Things with everything else in my life are still pretty weird, some times things seem so perfect and other times i feel like everything is going to go horribly wrong all over again and it feels like i am almost on my toes trying to be prepared for it, but i know in reality i wouldn't be. Who knew you could care about someone so much when you have only known them almost half a year? i mean of course i care about everyone that i become friends with, but this one is even overwhelming to me but i'm not complaining, its more just something to point out i guess.
Even though i know i am still young i feel like my gateway to make something out of myself is slowly starting to close, and it is making me nervous at times.
I still feel like if i could have done a few things different, everything would have been much better.
I love spending time around my friends more than they probably even realize.
When i ride my bike i feel like its an escape and the faster i go the slower the rest of the world is and the less i have to worry about.
Every song i hear usually reminds me of some experience.
I want to make a vegetable garden.
I love living alone no matter how boring or lonely it may get sometimes, it is usually better than being pestered over little life decisions.
I'm tired of asking questions and i know i need to stop, but its difficult.
I am excited and worried about the future.
I never want to lose anyone.
Lately everything has been so up and down that i get the two confused.
I'll be honest, at times i think about just leaving it all, but then the moments in life happen when everything seems amazing.
I wish people would call back at times.
Every single time i open my sketch book it floods me with all the memories and moments that have happened with that book around me, and all the writings/drawings i have done because of them which makes me sometimes not even want to open it.
People always say i know a lot of people, but if thats the case how come i roam around alone so much?
All the stickers i post up around town that have sayings on them, usually all stand for something that has happened and mean something deeper to me personally (as lame as that sounds).
I don't drink or do drugs anymore because i have made to many mistakes through them.
I know i think to much for my own good, but its just how i am and there probably isn't much that will change that sadly.
In my opinion when the streets are the museums anyone can be the next Dali.
I really need to stop making assumptions on peoples feelings because most of the time i am pretty wrong.


So yeah thats usually the things that are going on through my mind most of the time even when i am talking about other stuff. So when i seem like i am not paying attention i really am, but i always think about way to many things at once.

I love all my friends and would do anything for them and i hope they all know that. I put them before myself.
6 using parking meters as walking sticks | see those city lights

this makes a lot more sense now. [11 Apr 2007|11:25am]
see those city lights

[08 Apr 2007|01:18pm]
i got the philly handstyle down.

Things have been so rough, my mind is fucking blown away on all that has been happening and im just trying to keep composure and not just run away and avoid all that happened.


"do you remember passion? its buried beneath a concrete world"
see those city lights

[02 Apr 2007|08:32pm]
i wish i could brew motivation as simply as i brew coffee.
1 using parking meters as walking sticks | see those city lights

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